Tomorrow morning I have to be up bright and early to drive to Santa Barbara during morning traffic for appointments with a Cardiologist and my OB. I have to be cleared by both in order to receive my next chemo treatment which is scheduled for this Monday. I'll be getting another echo cardiogram to make sure my heart hasn't been damaged by the previous 5 rounds of chemo. I'm being pumped full of drugs that can damage my heart and that scares me almost more than the cancer itself. What is the toll on my body from all the treatment I've received and will be receiving over the next six months? I don't think about it until it's forced on me and then it makes me feel helpless... well more helpless, I guess.
After I have the echo, I'll meet with my OB, Dr. Ramos. She needs to make sure I'm not showing any signs of pre-term labor. I'm not so sure what Dr. Ramos will have to say after my visit to the hospital last Friday. I honestly don't think I'm going to deliver early but I'm not sure Dr. Ramos will agree. All I do know for sure is that they don't want me to deliver too soon after treatment.
It's been such a long week. After my visit to the hospital last Friday, so much has happened. We had soccer games on Saturday. Sunday was the baby shower where I was blessed with unbelievable generosity and love. On Monday Tobias had to go to the doctor because he was covered from head to toe with a rash that looked like the Measles. It ended up being an allergic reaction to a medication he was taking for a staph infection... Thank God! An allergic reaction means I can kiss him and hug him as usual. There is so much more I want to write about but I just don't have the brain power to do it. After treatment number 5, I really felt like it had done a number on my brain cells...like killed most of them. I just feel plain old stupid most of the time. The good thing about it is that I feel too stupid to care that my brain isn't functioning right. I get distracted easily. I often forget what I'm saying mid-sentence. My inability to formulate coherent thoughts has made it quite challenging to update my blog. I frequently have to delete paragraphs because I can't remember the point I was trying to make when I started typing about the chicken noodle soup that burned my mouth. Maybe I should stop deleting those paragraphs. It might make for very entertaining reading.