I am not a hypochondriac under normal circumstances but it appears I have become one. I have a cold and nothing has scared me more. I just had chemo on Tuesday and my immune system is at it's most vulnerable on days 7 through 14 after treatment. If I'm getting sick right now, what happens in two days when my system starts to really get weak? I have been taking my temperature every couple of hours. Part of the daily routine is to take my temperature twice a day even when I'm feeling fine. If my temperature gets to 100.5, I'm supposed to go to the hospital. I don't have a fever but I'm so afraid of what happens if I get one. I'm 32 weeks pregnant. My baby is nowhere near ready to come out and that's what scares me the most. I need to keep my body as healthy as possible to provide this baby with a safe place to continue growing.
It feels so funny to talk about how much I love this baby. I can't see him but I love him with a depth that is indescribable. I am so proud of his growth and his ability to thrive in my messed up body. He is so strong. Sometimes the pressure on my ribs is so intense that I wonder if it's possible for him to break one and it delights me. I'll miss being pregnant. This is my last time. You'd think I'd have had enough of it by now. I haven't and I will cherish every moment of this final 7 weeks. October 31st is approaching too quickly. Then again, it's not coming quickly enough because I can't wait to see his little face and to know for sure that he is healthy.