Friday, November 22, 2013

The Lung Update

I don't have cancer in my lung.  My oncologist called me the same day of the PET scan to inform me of the good news.  I was so relieved that I cried.  So...why has it taken me so long to get on my computer and share the good news?  I am so emotionally exhausted and burnt out on cancer that I am just completely unmotivated to talk about it.

This recent "scare" was not actually as scary as I expected it to be.  I continued to go on with my daily life as if it wasn't even happening.  There was such a huge difference in the way it felt this time as opposed to when I was first diagnosed.  I have become used to the fear that comes along with a cancer diagnosis.  It's just a part of my life now.  I have to think about cancer on a regular basis with blood work, scans, and appointments.  I've done this all before so cancer no longer scares me.  Death scares me though.  There were a couple times where I looked at the kids and the thought of their lives without a mom made me weep.  But I don't need to think about that because I do not have cancer in my lung.  We don't know what it is but I'll be going to a pulmonologist for a consultation.  My oncologist didn't appear to be concerned and if he's not concerned then I'm not concerned.

Thank you for your continued prayers.  I have definitely felt the blessings pouring down on me.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Hoping its Nothing

Last Monday I finally had my MRI for the bone infection. Two days later I got the results. No bone infection but there is a 1.5 cm spot on my lung. So, today I am off to get a pet/ct scan. Strangely enough, I haven't been thinking about it too much over the weekend. I felt happy and light hearted despite the upcoming test and the possibility of cancer.  I was extremely nervous before I got the results of my blood work. The cancer antigen levels came back very low. Actually one marker was lower than my last blood work 2 months ago. That gave me a little peace of mind but it doesn't mean that this isn't cancer.

Yesterday I was on a meat and greens only diet.  Today I am fasting before the scan. The only thing I am allowed to consume is the plethora of meds. Antibiotic, estregon blocker, vitamin, and today I took some diazepam. Anything to help with the anxiety I know will hit once I get into that machine. I'm already feeling a little loopy from the meds.  Prayers please for clear scans.