This morning when I went down to the beach with the kids, I totally braved it and went completely bald. Of course I'm hyper aware of people's reaction to me. I honestly think that people stare less when I'm not wearing a hat. Maybe it's because they don't have to wonder what's under or not under the hat...the statement has already been made. Anyhow, as I'm sitting there watching the kids play in the water, I realize that I forgot to wear my boob. My initial reaction was to panic a little bit. I was feeling extremely vulnerable with both my hair and one breast missing. Then I realized...it really doesn't matter. I walked down to the beach this way. None of the people I walked by passed out from shock. After the initial panic wore off, I was actually relieved. This is the worst it can possibly get. I started to think about that dream most of us have had at some point in our lives. You know that dream where you go to school or work without shoes or in your pajamas or completely naked. Sitting on the beach with my bald head and one boob, I felt naked...but I was okay. I am okay and what does it really matter if people stare? We went back to get lunch and I told my mom and my husband that I had forgotten to put my boob on. Now every time I go anywhere both of them make sure to remind me to wear my boob.
This afternoon when I was reapplying sunscreen on Ephraim, he said to me, "Mom, at least you still have this". He was pointing at my cleavage. It was so funny. What do you say to that? He's right too. The way the mastectomy was done left me with a small amount cleavage. Leave it to Ephraim to always find something to be thankful for.