Monday, December 31, 2012

The Last Day of 2012

I have to admit...I'm kinda disappointed that the world didn't end last week. I was really looking forward to not having to deal with cancer anymore. Just kidding...I never expected the world to end nor did I want it to.

Here I am sitting at the cancer center...receiving number 5 of 12 of what I'm hoping is the last chemo treatment I will receive for the rest of my life. My dad came with me today. My sister, Cyndi is my usual chemo companion but she wasn't able to make it today so she asked my niece Zoey to go with me. Zoey planned to go with me until her plans changed yesterday so she asked my dad to go with me. I hate that I have to have someone come with me to treatment. I don't like that I have to take up people's time. If it was up to me I would come by myself and not impose upon anyone. I know they don't mind coming with me and I think my sister actually enjoys having the opportunity to spend time with me. I don't like that they feel obligated. The fact that they have to pass me off from one person to the next makes me feel like a burden. It makes me feel small and helpless. I can't just go by myself though. The 30 minute drive along with the neuropathy and possible allergic reactions and the Benadryl are not a good combo. I can't argue my case of going by myself and win.

My dad just took this picture of me and informed me that it is for my blog. Not a great picture but it's the real me right now. Dark circles under the eyes...tired. Hat on. Since I shaved my head, I haven't gone out bald like I did last time. I feel more insecure this time. I don't know why.'s also been pretty cold so the hats are more necessary too. I crocheted the hat myself by the way. :)

It's New Year's Eve. This is such a busy time for my family. Yesterday John and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. I'm 33 years old and have been married for 12! More than 1/3 of my life. Tomorrow Daphne will turn 6 years old. My baby New Years baby. I am 33 years old with a 9 year old, 7 year old, 6 year old, and 2 month old...12 years of and a half boobs and no hair. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

I never got around to sending out a Christmas card this year. I can't even blame cancer or chemo brain. The real reason is because I can't send out a card with a picture of the family unless the picture is complete with my step-son in it too. We never had the opportunity to take a family picture while he was with us which means no Christmas card. We did go out and take some pictures without him. I'll post some of those pictures later.

If you get the VC Star, check out page 3A of today's paper. The photo of my family from the article they ran in October is one of the picks for photo of the year for 2012. I love that photo.

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