Friday, November 9, 2012

PET Scan

Today I finally had my PET scan.  Monday when I scheduled it I was so nervous.  As the week went on, I got tired... really, really tired.  The past couple of nights, Ezekiel hasn't been sleeping well.  I'm pretty sure it's gas caused by my inability to burp him well when I'm half asleep at night.  I have been so tired that I think I forgot to be worried about the PET scan.  Babies are so wonderful.  I never thought I'd be thankful for sleepless nights but I would take this new mommy fatigue over cancer patient anxiety any day of the week.

I left the house this morning knowing that I would be injected with radioactive chemicals that would be in my system for several hours.  Which means I can't be around my kids until they are out of my system this afternoon.  My three older children kissed me goodbye and my sweet baby boy gave me lots of sweet little smiles. I don't know what the deal is with this little guy...  I have never seen a newborn smile like he does.  He smiles all the time.  I'm kissing his sweet little face and telling him I'm going to miss him today and he's just sitting there smiling away... what a little blessing he is!  

Once at the Cancer Center, I received my injection and waited for an hour for the poison to penetrate my system.  I dozed off several times.  If they had just given me a pillow, I could have had a really nice little nap. They took me to the CT machine, I laid down with arms raised above my head, they sent me into the machine and I battled sleep for the next 45 minutes.  I thought I was going to have a panic attack a couple different times because I was so worried about falling asleep and moving and ruining the test, that every time I started to doze, I would catch myself and my heart would start racing.  I would then have to focus on my breathing... in through the nose... out through the mouth...  Finally the test was over and they technician came in and told me they were going to run the scans by the doctor to see if they needed anything else from a different machine.  I was having such a hard time not assuming the worst... that they had seen something and needed more images.  The technician came back and said the images they had were enough and he sent me on my way.  

Within twenty minutes of walking out of the Cancer Center, I got a call from my oncologist.  My phone was still on silent, so I missed the call.  I checked my voicemail and the message said, "The results from your PET scan are GREAT!"  I heard this and immediately started crying tears of relief.  I called them back to make sure I heard correctly.  Yes!  The scan was negative!!!  I cried again.  

I have an appointment with my oncologist on Monday.  We will go over the remaining treatment.  12 weeks of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation to kill any possible cancer cells that could be still floating around.  I am no longer a cancer patient.  That may not be the way the medical field views me... but it's how I view myself.  I don't have cancer.  It's gone from my body.  Those cells that could be floating around...  they'll be gone soon too!