Friday, November 16, 2012

Chemo Brain

This morning on the way to my appointment at the cancer center, my husband and I stopped for coffee.  I was driving so John could get some work done.  He stayed in the car while I ran in to Starbucks to get our coffee.  As I stepped out of the car, I realized that the car had started to move again.  Oops... I didn't turn off the ignition or take it out of gear and put it into park.  Fortunately I was quick to react and hopped back in and got my foot on the brake with an inch to spare before my car went bumper to bumper with the car parked in front of me.  How embarrassing!  I looked over at John and said, "Oops... I claim chemo brain!"  I started to think about it.  It could be the chemo brain (which I've heard lasts for up to 5 years after treatment... LAME!) or it could be the new mommy brain.  So many excuses to choose from.  I will go with a combination of both.  My brain does not work well at all... period.

We had rain this morning.  It was my favorite kind of morning as we were driving up the 101 to Santa Barbara with the dark clouds over the ocean and a hot cup of coffee in my hands.  It's in those moments when I'm awed by creation that I love and in those moments I feel extra grateful for this life I have been blessed with.  

My appointment was simple.  They went over the side effects of the chemo... pretty much the same as last time.  It's funny how different this pre-chemo appointment was than the last one.  I'm not afraid anymore.  Before I had chemo before there was so much fear involved.  I am so afraid of the unknown and since I've been through it already, I no longer find anything to be afraid of.  

I'm thinking about dying my hair.  Never in my life have I dyed my hair.  I had highlights a couple of times in my late teens but that's it.  I think that since they said there is a high probability of my hair falling out again, I need to do something entertaining with it while I still have it.  Speaking of hair... Zeek and I were having some tummy time together today and my husband took a picture.  It was of the back of our heads.  Zeek has my cowlick.  I didn't know I had one until now but it's so fun to see that he has a characteristic so distinctly from me.

Here is a picture of me with my half inch of hair and some more of Zeek and me.

Half Inch Hair
Sweet Baby Ezekiel - 3 weeks old

Tummy Time

Zeek and Mommy Cowlicks


  1. So sweet! He is just precious!

  2. Hi Rebecca.......Ezekial is so beautiful, I am so happy for you and your family. Praying for you and thankful for the many blessings in your life!! Have a blessed Thanksgiving!!
    Lisa Gallardo

    1. Thank you so much, Lisa! I appreciate all your prayers! <3

  3. I love the pictures of you two having tummy time. I cannot wait for our son to be here, every one of your updates about him made me even more excited. I can relate with you about going through chemo the 2nd time. What are you doing this time? My first was AC and 2nd is Taxol. Not looking forward to Taxol after hearing about the muscle pain, but it seems like everything is a little easier to swallow with a sweet baby face to look at.

    1. Who knew that five days after you sent this message to me that your little Ben would be here? I'm dying to hear more about how he's doing. I hope everything is going well.
      It sounds like our treatment is pretty similar. I started Taxol on Monday and the first time it was Adriomycin, cytoxin, and 5FU.
      Update your caring bridge soon. I need to know all the details. Sending lots of love your way!