This morning in the shower, I noticed that the mass in my breast feels different...significantly different. Today it feels like the nipple is completely surrounded by thickened cancerous tissue. Last week it was only on the right side. I guess it really is changing quickly and that explains how I didn't notice it sooner. I just wish they would hurry up and cut this cancer out of me. I want it off of my body!
It's really hard to make decisions right now. I just can't think clearly enough to figure things out. Right now my husband and I are trying to figure out what to do about a place for him to live for the couple days a week that he needs to be in Northern California for work. He is blessed with a job that allows him to work from home a lot of the time but there are 2 to 3 days a week that he will need to make the 5 hour drive up there to meet with customers. This is where the problem is. Rent a room from someone, rent a studio, crash on a friend's couch? None of it sounds very appealing but a decision has to be made.
At least things are getting settled here at my parents house. Thanks to my sisters, we finally unpacked all the boxes and clothes and got everything put away. The kids have their room all set up and have been happy to have their cousins to play with on a daily basis.
I have to say that so far the worst thing about this cancer business is that I feel like a huge burden on my family. Despite the fact that I feel like a burden, I know they do not view me as a burden. I know that everything they do for me is out of love and not out of obligation. Thank God for that. Thank God for the loving family I am blessed to be a part of. I don't know how I would get through this without them.