Happy New Year

Well, I never sent out Christmas cards so I've decided to utilize my blog as a surrogate for a New Years card instead. I've included some family photos below. My step-son is missing from the photos and no photo is complete without him in it but I will just have to settle for incomplete photos this time.

Some of my favorite moments from the past couple weeks:

Last week Ezekiel had his two month check up. He weighed in at a hefty 14 lbs 11 oz. and a whopping 24 inches long. My healthy thriving precious little Chemo baby. My little miracle. The doctor spent quite a bit of time examining him...even observed his neck strength while on his tummy. Zeek made his mommy proud when the doctor told me, "He is so strong. See the way he has been holding his head up so high for such a long period of time? He is as strong as a four month old!"

Tobias is so impressed with Zeek. He has made the comment on several occasions that Zeek is so amazing because he had breast cancer. It's so cute how his understanding of things comes out. I've corrected him several times but he continues to state that Zeek had breast cancer.

Daphne got some girl Legos for Christmas. She and Ephraim were building one of the Lego sets and I heard Daphne say to Ephraim, "This girl has breast cancer." I peeked over at them and Daphne had taken the hair off of one of the girl Lego figures so that she was bald. It was so cute but at the same time somewhat heartbreaking that my little girl pretends her toy is sick. These kids shouldn't have to know about cancer...at least they're not afraid to express themselves. Sometimes I wish they would express themselves a little less. I've got some real talkers on my hands.

All three of the kids are super helpful with Zeek. We've had colds floating around for the past couple weeks so some days I've made them keep their distance from the baby. Those days are agony for them and all I hear from them is, "Can I hold Zeek yet? I'm feeling better." I've started calling Daphne Zeek's sister mommy because she's so sweet and nurturing and just instinctively acts like a little mommy to him. The boys are just as sweet to him too. I am so proud of my kids and their tender and loving hearts. I am so blessed.

Ezekiel has been such a huge blessing to me in so many ways. Right now the greatest gift he provides me is affection. With all the sickness that's been going around and my counts getting low, I am having to be extremely careful about kisses. I am only kissing the older kids on the forehead at bed time and that's it. But Zeek is safe to kiss all the time and I am so grateful for that.

Speaking of counts...after the Neupogen injections I received a couple weeks ago my counts went sky high. They have since then been steadily decreasing each week. I have a feeling this is the week they will get dangerously low again. I can feel it. My body is wearing down again. The good news is that my prescription was finally filled by the pharmacy and I now have the Neupogen shots on hand at home to self administer as soon as I know they're needed.

Well, I want to close this post by saying that I feel truly blessed. Despite all the crap that has taken place over the past year, 2012 was not a bad year. Yes, I was diagnosed with cancer but I was also blessed with my little miracle baby. 2012 poured blessings into my life. It was a hard year but I won't complain because life is hard and I believe the challenges in life are what make the experience so beautiful. I have found beauty in so many unexpected places and at so many unexpected times. I am thankful for 2012 and the beauty it brought as well as the trials.