Pick and Choose Your Battles

A quick update on my lung... I had a follow up scan a couple weeks ago. The spot on my lung is the same or possibly a little smaller. It's possibly just scarring from radiation. We still don't know for sure. The good news is that the doctor isn't very concerned at all. I will have another follow up scan in 6 months. 

The real update on my life begins here....

After thirteen and a half years of marriage I have decided that it's time for it come to an end.  The battle I fought for my marriage was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in all my life. Fighting cancer was a breeze compared to the battle for my marriage. Several years ago I left my husband. We were back together after only a month of separation. This time it's much different. Last time I left because I wanted him to change. I was acting out of a place of control. I was insecure and desperate. This time....this time it's different. I am a different person. I have looked at my life and stared immortality in the face. I have spent my entire adult life fighting....for marriage...for my life. I now choose to fight a different battle.  This new battle is for a healthy life. I might be a little melodramatic....but I feel beaten down. I've been beaten down by an unhealthy marriage...by cancer....by life. I now choose to take control of what I can. I choose to only allow people into my life who will build me up.  I choose to only allow people into my life who are worthy of my trust...who choose to be trustworthy...who are honest...who are loyal.  I have never in all my life been so certain that I am doing the right thing. I am terrified of the unknown but I feel completely at peace.