Plans Change

This morning I had an appointment with my oncologist.  The plans have changed.  I don't like change.  I already had this all figured out.  I was going to have 18 weeks of chemo while I am pregnant.  It was totally going to work out perfectly.  Chemo would take place from June to September...awesome months to have chemo because my kids never get sick during those months and I wouldn't have to worry about my immune system being compromised as much as I would through the winter months.  After chemo was over, I would have my baby and be able to breast feed for a couple weeks until I began radiation.  During radiation I could pump and dump and then continue breast feeding again when it was all over.  I had it all figured out.  Well...so much for my plans.  Seriously!  I need to stop being disappointed when my plans don't work out.  I should know better.  

So the new plan is as follows.  Whenever I get the stupid drain out of me I will begin chemo with a drug they know is safe during pregnancy.  I will discontinue chemo 4 weeks before I deliver the baby.  I guess that's because I need to get my platelets and blood count up so I don't bleed out during delivery.  After I deliver the baby I will continue another 12 weeks of chemo on a different drug that is not yet proven safe for the baby.  After that I will have radiation and then I will be done with treatment.  I'm disappointed.  Doesn't the doctor know that I already had a great plan in place?  I guess he doesn't really care about my plan to make cancer treatment as convenient as possible.  I guess I have to be thankful for that.  He cares about getting me healthy.  He told me today that when I became his patient I became part of his family.  I totally believe him too.  I guess when you're going through cancer it makes you a part of this separate cancer culture.  

So for now I'll sit around waiting for my drain to produce less than 30 ML of fluid per day and then the chemo can begin.  I am so not looking forward to this.