Busy is Good

There has been so much going on to keep me busy.  I had my appointment with the perinatologist on Thursday.  It went really well.  Baby boy is perfectly healthy.  During the ultrasound they examined all of his organs, viewed the blood flow in his heart and umbilical cord, and did all the measurements.  There was one point where I started to get nervous because the doctor looked at the heart for such a long period of time.  I was relieved when I heard the words, "everything looks good."  He is measuring large, which fills me with a sense of amazement.  The main concern while I'm going through chemo during pregnancy is the growth of the little guy and he is exceeding expectations.  I don't put too much faith in ultrasounds when it comes to predicting the babies weight because they can be off by as much as a pound.  I was 31 weeks and 1 day pregnant when I had the ultrasound and the average weight of a baby at that gestational age is 3 lbs 3 oz.  My baby's estimated weight is 4 lbs 3 oz.  The estimated due date is 10/22/12, a full 9 days earlier than my actual due date which is 10/31/12 (Halloween).

A friend and former team mate of mine from high school asked me if I'd be interested in doing an interview for an article on cancer during pregnancy.  She came over to my parent's house on Thursday to do the interview.  Some of the questions she asked made me start thinking about the fact that I've stayed pretty ignorant about the details of my cancer and that's not like me.  I like to be informed.  Why haven't I asked more questions?  Is it because I'm afraid of the answers?  So, today I decided to review the pathology report from my mastectomy.  The only report I have is the preliminary report and it doesn't have all of the finalized details.  The medical terminology is foreign to me and I have no idea what it all means.  What I should have done was taken the pathology report in to the oncologist this coming Tuesday and asked him to explain to me what it all means.  Instead I chose to Google the information.  There is too much information out there and it is not specific to my situation.  I don't know how to interpret the pathology report in the first place and trying to obtain information on something I don't understand just makes a mess of things.  There is too much scary information and I'm not sure how much of it applies to me.  It's scary and it gets me down.  Down is not where I want to be.  So I'm going to try and stay busy and to remember that I shouldn't do anymore research.