Round Two

Today was round two of chemotherapy.  It went well but I'm already seeing more side effects this time. About half way through treatment (which takes about an hour and a half), I felt like every ounce of energy had been sucked out of me.  The subtle burning in my stomach started immediately.  It feels like I could be hungry but the thought of eating makes me nauseous.  It's actually very similar to how I felt throughout the first trimester of my pregnancy.  I got home and looked at myself in the mirror and I look like crap.  My skin looks yellow and the circles under my eyes are very dark today.  I did have on a really cute hat though and I also have cute toes.  When I went to get a pedicure with my sister the other day, I surprised myself by choosing a bright pink very summery polish color.  I think I might be looking for ways to draw the attention away from all of my curse of cancer flaws.

The picture below was taken of me and my goofy Ephraim yesterday after church.  I've started wearing hats to keep the hair falling out of my head off of my clothes.  I even wore a hat to bed last night.  I still have a lot of hair on my head even though it's falling out pretty rapidly now.  When I take my hat off, I do it outside and shake my hair out.  The hair doesn't stop falling out so I just go get another hat to put on.  I'm very tempted to shave it off but my husband and sisters keep telling me to just wait until it looks bad.  I think I'm over the fear of losing my hair now even though I think I'll still cry when I finally have to shave it.  Other than the hair, I think I'm doing really well emotionally.  I still feel joyful and I know that this joy is a blessing from the Lord because only He could give me this joy when I feel like crap.  


Today Ephraim told me that this baby in my tummy is God's gift to him.  He said he's been praying for another baby for a long time.  Those were the actual words out of my 8 year old son's mouth.  I adore him.